How You Remind Me
by Eunoia
Summary: Starts off with Buffy's summer after season one, but later chapters will probably go all the way to the end of Angel. Buffy and a certain mystery man remind each other of who they are. Oh, who am I kidding? It's Gunn. You'd figure it out anyway.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or situations. This story is for fun, not profit._

_A/N: You will have to be familiar with events that took place on Angel to understand some of the stuff in the later chapters. Well, maybe you won't _have to_, but I think it would help. This story deals with some charged issues, namely race, but I really hope you won't take it as racist in any way because that is totally not my intention._

Buffy had only been in LA for two weeks and she was already getting restless. It seemed strange that less than a year ago she thought she'd die of boredom in Sunnydale, and now here she was back in LA wishing she were there. Although not wishing she was there at the same time, because after all, it wasn't the boredom that killed her. More like a distinct lack thereof.

She was eager to get out of Sunnydale after it happened and as usual, was eager to see her father. But things weren't how she remembered them. Her dad had sold the house she grew up in and moved to a really nice apartment. Too nice. She felt like she should ask permission to put her feet on the coffee table. And things with her dad were weird too. She couldn't remember what they were like before, but she was sure they couldn't have been like this. Strangers in the same house. If they had been like this before, she wouldn't have missed him so much, right?

But Buffy was adaptable. She figured if hanging out with her dad wasn't fun, she'd see her old friends. The few who hadn't totally ostracized her at least. But Ford had moved away and Pike wasn't exactly friends with her other friends so no one knew where he had gone. So she was stuck window shopping with Tiffani and Farrah everyday and heading out to the same lame club with Tiffani, Farrah, and their respective boyfriends almost every night.

She knew she should be grateful to the girls since they hadn't abandoned her when all her other friends had. But they just seemed so vapid. The funny thing was, Buffy had assumed that she would be at the bottom of the social totem pole upon her return, but she had somehow slipped back into her place as the leader of the trio. She couldn't help but think that they had just been waiting for someone to tell them what to do the whole time she was gone. Age certainly hadn't made them get over their follower ways. Case in point: back at Hemery, they had a tendency to turn their noses up at anyone who had dark skin for any other reason than a tanning bed, but now they both had (and they actually referred to them this way at one point) "urban" boyfriends. Apparently black boyfriends were all the rage. The ghettoer the better. Buffy wasn't sure, but she thought Farrah's was in a gang. She probably got extra cool points for that.

They offered to set her up with someone, but Buffy was pretty sure she wouldn't like their choice. The guy they described to her apparently put a waiter in the hospital for being rude to his last girlfriend, a story the girls seemed to find incredibly sexy, but it didn't do much for Buffy. It's not like the raw animal strength thing wasn't a turn-on. In fact that probably characterized her type perfectly, and she really should be looking for someone "her type" whose favourite food wasn't O neg, but she didn't think she could go for a guy who beat up waiters when her last crush only killed to rescue her from demons. She knew she shouldn't be holding out for Broody McBroodster, but other guys just didn't seem impressive anymore.

So that's how it came to be that she continued to be the fifth wheel on the nightly trips to "Juice," the worst club Buffy had ever been to. Well, not the worst exactly, just the one she felt most out of place in. Every time she and her friends walked in, they were greeted with stares as well as a few glares. The others were seemingly unaware of the reaction their white skin caused, but Buffy was smart enough to be embarrassed. They weren't the only white girls there; apparently not only were black boyfriends trendy for white girls, but white girlfriends were trendy for black guys. Buffy hated that all the people glaring at her probably lumped her in with people like that. She wished they could go somewhere she felt more comfortable, but she didn't know how to say that without sounding like a total racist. Besides, Tiffani's boyfriend knew the bouncer here. And unfortunately, her leader of the pack status wasn't in place when the boyfriends were around.

At least dancing was a good outlet for energy. She hadn't slayed anything in awhile and as much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to itch for it. Sure the guys in this place were a little grabby, but she could take care of herself. She supposed she shouldn't blame them anyway since most of the girls here who looked like her really wouldn't have minded a little groping between strangers. That particular night there was one guy who was really being a pain. He kept grabbing her ass and yelling something that she couldn't quite hear over the music but that sounded like it had to do with his "sack rock".

She was about to really let him have it, figuring four attempts at diffusing the situation politely was enough when a tall guy, who had just walked into the club a few minutes before, put his hand on Mr. Grabby's shoulders and pulled him away. Mr. Grabby looked really pissed off for a moment but he backed down when he saw who it was. They spoke for a minute; then Mr. Grabby stalked off.

Obviously Buffy hadn't needed the guy's help, but he didn't know that so she figured she should thank him anyway. He was at the bar now, so she made her way off the dance floor and approached him.

"Listen, I just wanted to say thanks for helping me out with that guy."

"Yeah, well, hopefully that'll teach you that this ain't a good place for you."

She wasn't sure what she had expected. Maybe a "No problem," or a "You're welcome" or a "Can I buy you a drink?" It was her experience that men weren't very often rude to her when she was wearing a skirt this short.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She didn't know why she was picking a fight. It's not like she disagreed with him.

"It means that this is a dangerous neighbourhood, especially for someone who thinks they can just come and hook up with the nearest brother 'cause it said to in Cosmo. It means there're a lotta scarier things in this part of town than Leon over there," he said, nodding towards Mr. Grabby. "It means that little blonde girls need to have enough sense to stay outta trouble 'cause I got enough people who need my help right here."

"Excuse me? I didn't ask for your help. In fact, I can handle _Leon,_ not to mention things a lot scarier than you and your pathetic saviour complex self can even imagine. God, I don't need to stay here and take this. I'm leaving." She flipped her hair and walked over to the door angrily. Just as she was about to leave, she walked back and quickly said "but not because you told me to."

As she was walking away for the second time, she felt his hand on her arm. "Wait," he said.

"If you don't take your hand off _my_ arm in the next three seconds, I'll have to take it off _yours_."

He had the good sense to pull back, but he kept following her. "Look, I'd better walk you to your car. If it hasn't been stolen already at least."

"First of all, I don't have a car. Second, I really don't need you to walk me there."

"Yes you do. And if you don't have a car, how were you planning to get home? Something tells me you don't live in walking distance."

"I came with my friends, but they like to stay really late, so sometimes I take a cab home. And no I don't."

"A cab? Before you can even get to a phone, you'll be dead. Or worse. So yes you do." By this time they were out by the pay phone Buffy usually used.

"Oh my God, what is your deal? I told you I'd be fine. And you don't even like me, so why do even care if I end up dead?"

"It's not about whether I like you. You were dumb enough to come out here by yourself at night, and now whether I like you or not, I've got to look out for you."

"That's very chivalrous and all, but I assure you, I won't blame you if I die. I absolve you of all responsibility. There, are you happy?"

"It doesn't work that way," he said, more softly now and she caught herself meeting his eyes.

"Yeah. I know." Boy, did she ever. She wanted to ask him if he'd die to save the world, but thought that would be more than a little petty, not mention the fact that it would make her look kind of insane.

Suddenly the hair on the back of her neck pricked up. There was someone behind her. Someone trying not to be heard. She slowly reached for the stake in her purse. She was about to tell the guy to get back in the club when she heard the figure behind her lunge. She spun around and kicked him in the gut. If she had been alone she would have staked him immediately, but she needed to get the guy out of the way first. She turned around, shocked to see him holding his own with two of his own vampires. He obviously wasn't as fast as her, but he was strong and seemed to know what he was doing. In fact, was that a…stake?

Buffy was pulled out of her reverie by the vamp yanking her hair back and attempting to sink his fangs into her neck. She used his body to do a back flip over him and quickly staked him from behind. As he dissolved into dust, she didn't waste a minute, running over and dispatching of one of the vamps beating on the guy. Before she could get the third one, the guy had staked him.

As the dust settled around them, the two stared at each other. "How did you—" they both started.

"Do you maybe want to go somewhere and talk?" he asked. "There's a diner down the street…"

"Yeah, a little talking might be in order." They headed off in the direction he indicated. "By the way, I'm Buffy Summers," she said, offering her hand.

"Charles Gunn," he replied, shaking it firmly.


	2. Chapter 2

They were silent on the way to the diner, both still tense from the fight. It was only when they entered the brightly lit restaurant that they relaxed enough to release their grips from their stakes. They made their way to a table in the back and slid into the vinyl booth.

"So, you gonna tell me where you learned to fight like that?" Gunn started.

"That depends. Are _you_ going to tell me where _you_ learned to fight like that?" Buffy replied.

"Lots of guys my size in a neighbourhood like this can take care of themselves. There's no way you weigh over 110 and you took out two vampires without even breaking a sweat. I think we both know you're the one who really owes an explanation."

"Vamps? I thought those must have been gang-members on PCP," Buffy said in her best perky valley girl voice, while offering up a big ditzy smile. "And anyway, I just got lucky. I mean, I take Tae Bo, so…" Gunn just raised his eyebrows at her. "Not going to work, huh?" she asked.

"Don't think so. Good effort though."

Buffy sighed. She'd have to tell him the truth and if she was being honest with herself, she kind of wanted to. In fact, right now was the first time she had felt like herself since she arrived in LA. She didn't know when ditzy Buffy had become the mask and warrior Buffy had become the real her. Maybe that's how it had always been.

"I'm the slayer."

To her surprise Gunn started laughing. "What's that, like your superhero name?"

Suddenly Buffy was struck by the sheer ridiculousness of the word. She started laughing too. "I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer," she said and their laughter intensified. "Hey, don't blame me. I didn't come up with the name."

"Which one, Buffy or Slayer?"

"Neither. And believe me, neither of them are anywhere near what I would have chosen. They chose me. And I choose to embrace them." When Buffy looked up she realized that Gunn had stopped laughing and was now looking right into her eyes. She was suddenly embarrassed and said "What, like Gunn the Vampire Hunter isn't equally ridiculous?"

"Hey, I never claimed to be Gunn the Vampire Hunter. I'm just Gunn."

"Well, what do you call that show back there? You look like you've had some practice with that stake."

"You think I hunt them? I'm protecting my people. We all have to protect each other. This isn't some game for me."

"You think it's a game for me? Don't look at me and assume you know me. You've probably figured out that being the slayer means I'm a lot stronger than normal girls. You think that doesn't come with a lot of responsibility? It was my destiny to die for people who would never even know it!"

"First of all, I don't believe in destiny. And second, 'was'? You've given up on the mission?"

"Far from it. I just think the fact that I already died once kind of makes my destiny fulfilled," she shot back.

"You what?"

"Never mind." She wished she hadn't said anything. She had come here to forget about the whole dying thing. "Anyway, like you said, all your people do it. I'm alone. Or at least I'm supposed to be."

"So, what, you expect me to feel sorry for you? I would love to have superpowers or whatever the hell it is that you have. People die on a regular basis 'round here because I don't."

"Look, I'm not whining, I just—"

"Yes, you are. But that's not the point. I'm not here to play a round of 'Who has the Sadder Life?' What I want to know is if you're interested in helping us out around here."

"What? You want me to be part of your little gang?"

"Not exactly how I would have put it, but yeah."

"Why? You don't even like me?"

"It's not a question of whether I like you. It's a question of whether you're gonna help me or not. I could use someone with your skills, and frankly, I get the impression you miss it. The way you dealt with those vamps…it's who you are, whether you chose it or not. "

"It's not," Buffy said quietly, not really believing it herself anymore.

"Sure. I'm not gonna push it. But if you feel like helping, meet me here tomorrow night around ten." Gunn stood, grabbing his jacket. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home." Buffy rose, her bare legs sticking to the seat, then followed him to the door. She was surprised to find him holding the door open for her. As she brushed past him to get out the door he said "And for the record, I don't…not like you."

The next day she was back there are ten pm sharp. Gunn and his crew showed up a few minutes later. "Surprised to see me here?" she asked somewhat nervously.

"No," was his only reply.


	3. Chapter 3

So that's how it started. It was awkward at first, Gunn's friends giving her dirty looks, muttering comments under their breath. The first time they saw her fight, things changed. And every time she saved one of their lives, they changed a little more. Buffy didn't kid herself. She knew she'd never really be a part of the group. At the end of every night, every fight, she'd climb into Gunn's truck and he'd drive over to the part of town with neighborhood watch and Jacuzzi bathtubs. Nobody else got out there. They all stayed in the truck and drove right back where they came from. And then the next night, they'd be comparing bruises, cuts, and sometimes even broken bones, while she never had much more than a papercut. But despite all this, Buffy was happy. Even if these people weren't too fond of her, they respected her and they understood the work she had to do. And somehow, this made her feel more normal than she had in a long time. She had even stopped having nightmares about the Master.

And then there was Gunn. At first she found him incredibly annoying. He was always trying to be macho, always running out into the fight even when he was barely conscious. Always trying to shove her out of the way to take the blow. The others seemed to take it for granted that he'd do this. He was the leader, not to mention the best fighter. Or at least he had been until Buffy showed up. The first few times he tried to play the hero, she let it go. It was kind of sweet, actually. She noticed he only did it for certain people. Mostly girls, but also his closest friends among the guys. Plus the really young kids. She kind of felt good that she was part of this elite group of people that he cared about. But it became a pain really fast. She tried to talk to him about it, but he always played dumb, claiming he had no idea what she was talking about.

One night about three weeks after they had met, they were patrolling the area right around Juice. There had been a pretty brutal fight the night before, so most of the team was recuperating. Buffy said she was going to patrol alone, so of course Gunn, who was still pretty beat up from the night before, insisted on coming along. Buffy didn't resist since they had killed most of the vampires and demons in the area the previous night. Plus (and she would never admit this to him) she liked his company. He was a smart guy, especially for someone who had dropped out of school so early. And he was funny and unlike most of his friends, he didn't make her feel guilty for having money and both parents (even if her dad only counted as maybe half a parent these days). He even let her go on about Willow and Xander and Giles. Buffy had never been able to talk about her Sunnydale friends with Tiffani and Farrah. She knew they wouldn't get them. And even though Gunn came from such a different world, he never made fun. They talked about every demon that she had ever faced, but they never talked about the Master.

This particular night, she was telling him about Sid the dummy when they were attacked by two vampires. Instead of letting her take care of one while he dealt with the other, he attempted to herd both vampires to his side of the alley. Every time Buffy attempted to get in to help him, he blocked her with his body. An observer would have thought it was just clumsiness on his part. Buffy knew better. When Gunn finally got beaten down enough that he was unable to keep pushing her, she staked the two vamps, then immediately turned around and punched Gunn in the face.

"What the hell are you doing?" he yelled, clutching his nose.

"What the hell am I doing? You're the one who's trying to get yourself killed! I don't know what it is with men, but I am stronger than you and you'd better get used to it. Maybe my strength intimidates you, but I can't help that and your macho attitude isn't helping anyone!"

"Intimidates me? God Buffy, your strength is one of the things I like most about you. There's not much room for machismo when we're fighting for our lives."

Buffy didn't know why, but hearing him say that meant a lot. Not a lot of guys would not only tolerate the strength but like it. She wanted to ask him what the other things he liked about her were, but then realized he was probably just trying to change the subject again. "So what's your problem then? Why won't you let me fight?"

Gunn looked as though he was going to walk away, but he suddenly turned back. "Come on Buffy, isn't it obvious? You have so much to live for. You have this amazing life and personality and family and friends and this _destiny_. You shouldn't have to die at sixteen."

Buffy was stunned. This wasn't what she expected. "And you should?"

"I'm not sixteen."

"That's not the point," she retorted, "and you know it."

"I'm not going to live very long. Around here, you learn not to have expectations. Aspirations. We fight. We die. You're going to go home at the end of the summer and you're going to keep living. Because you have something to live for. I never did, so it doesn't matter if I die. And since I have to die anyway, it may as well be saving you."

Gunn was standing in a defensive posture, almost like he was waiting for an attack, but his face was…his face was scared. "Gunn," Buffy started angrily, "you are such an idiot."

"Wow, thanks."

"How dare you think the only thing you have to offer is your death? You are one of the greatest people I know. You're brave and you're strong and smart and funny and sweet. And you've got a sister who's crazy about you and a whole community of people who look up to you." Gunn made a move like he was going to say something, but Buffy wouldn't let him interject. "How dare you give that up? You might not have a choice about dying, but you have a choice about how to live your life. And thinking the only important thing you'll ever do is dying is just…you're such a bastard." Buffy was crying now and Gunn only hesitated a moment before pulling her into his arms.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I don't, I don't know what to say."

She looked up at him with tear-stained eyes and quietly said "I died."

"What?"

"In June. There was this prophecy that this master vampire was going to kill me and unleash hell on earth. The first part happened, but Xander gave me CPR. I was dead for a while though, and let me tell you, not in a rush to see that happen to anyone I care about. You never know how much time you have, so you've really got to take advantage of it. I know that sounds totally Lifetime movie, but dying kind of makes you think big thoughts like that."

"I guess it would," replied Gunn, still absorbing the information. So the whole slayer gig doesn't come with a very long lifespan either then, does it?"

"Not so much. Giles didn't want to tell me how old the oldest slayer lived to be, so I snuck into his office and looked it up."

"And?"

"Twenty-two."

"Whoa."

"Pretty much sums it up." Now that the anger had died down, Buffy suddenly became aware of the fact that she was pressed against Gunn's chest, her hand pressed against his heartbeat. Slowly she looked up at him only to see him looking back at her. Before she could say anything, he bent down and kissed her. It wasn't like kissing Angel, that feeling that she was meant to be there and that she couldn't pull away if she wanted to. It was a kiss that was just about kissing and about living, and that was all she wanted.

After a minute, they pulled apart. Gunn smiled. "Seize the moment, right?"

"Good to know you were listening to my little pep talk. So no more trying to be the hero, right?"

"Just one of many."

"Me too," said Buffy realizing for the first time that maybe she was.

The pair walked out of the alley, each holding the other's hand in one hand and a stake in the other. "So you really mean all that stuff you said about me before?" Gunn asked teasingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I believe it was something along the lines of brave, smart, strong, funny and sweet."

Buffy rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Well don't go getting a big head or anything."


End file.
